When we’re children, we don’t grow up thinking our moms would ever forget. She’s the one who raised and shaped us into who we are today. The one who made sure nothing would go amiss. She reminded us about our lunch before going to school or not to forget to call her if we’re running late. She was the one we could rely on. When Mother’s Day came around, it was finally our time to remember all she has done for us.

As our parents age so much of what we took for granted suddenly becomes seen and appreciated. But when this person near and dear to our heart is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Mother’s Day stops being one day, but is celebrated every day. For Luminita and Mihaela Serbanescu, since their mother, Gabriela, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s seven years ago, they know it’s up to them to remember.

Luminita and Mihaela are the ones now keeping their families’ memories of the past alive remembering the days that were. They’re also responsible for remembering the present. “Now we’re the ones to remind her where she’s going and responsible to cook her food, grab the groceries, and schedule appointments,” Luminita said.

While they miss the mother who introduced them to their favourite books and was part of their fondest childhood memories, they’re grateful that she was there when they needed her the most.

“It’s horrible to know that person isn’t there anymore. She really has become a totally different person. It’s hard for us to see mom go through that change, but now it’s our time to be there for her.”

Shortly before the pandemic, the sisters were thinking about placing their mother in the care of a nursing home. “It was a hard decision, but we knew it was the last resort,” Luminita said.

Ultimately, they felt confident that with the help of Carefor’s Carling Adult Day Program and making some changes to their own lives, they could spend more time with mom and give her all the loving care she deserves, at home.

Luminita sold her house and Mihaela retired, both moving into an apartment building a few floors from each other so that their mother could have better mobility. Both sisters split up tasks to ensure mom is well cared for.

Carefor’s in-person program gave mom companionship, care, and kept her mentally stimulated. Now more than a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, the lack of respite has been hard for the family. Despite these challenges, the sisters are grateful to have each other and to know that Carefor is always there for support – whether near or far.

“Mom started attending the program five years ago. She always said Carefor staff are ‘people of quality.’ Now, with the pandemic and mom’s worsening eyesight, they still continue to reach out and show that they care and that means a lot,” Luminita said. “If we were still in Romania, we couldn’t get the support like we do here. We’re lucky to be in Canada to get a lot of help.”

Across Ottawa are the people who cared for us – our mothers. While the world locks down they still need help, perhaps more than ever. Carefor staff are finding creative ways to make a positive impact to keep them healthy and to help them feel less alone at home. Your donation helps us reach out to these families in ways we never have before. Please give today.

After suffering from a stroke, Eli’s lifestyle changed drastically. Suddenly he required types of supports he had never needed before, resulting in more pressure on his caregiver.

“You never know what it’s going to cost you when you get older,” he says.

But with the help of programs funded in part by generous donations, Eli was able to find something that fit his needs.

Now he attends the Carling Adult Day Program twice a week, which is one of three Adult Day Programs by Carefor that give individuals living with dementia an opportunity to connect and socialize with others.

“I never put money away for programs like this,” Eli says.

Their day consists of playing games, making crafts, exercising, socializing, and enjoying a meal.

These necessary programs that are in high demand help not only individuals like Eli to get the support they need, but they also give caregivers a much-needed break.

“It’s a blessing,” Heather, Eli’s daughter and caregiver, says about the respite service. “If we didn’t have that, dad would not be at home and he’d be isolated.” When a loved one’s health takes a turn for the worse, caregivers are often thrown into a complicated world, not knowing how to access programs that can support them.

The Carling Adult Day Program is one of these programs. Beyond just giving caregivers a break, it helps them maintain the relationship that they have always had with their loved one. “As a caregiver it enables me to have a separate entity and creates our lines so we can still be father daughter,” says Heather.

To learn more about the Carefor Carling Adult Day Program, click here or email us at info@carefor.ca.

Community comes together to bring Christmas joy in the lives of seniors

While Christmas is seen as a time of love and joy, Crystal Tunnoch, a resident of Richmond Village, realized that’s not often the case for everyone.

“I know Christmas can be a lonely, quiet time [for some seniors],” she says. For that reason, Crystal organized a local project called “Hands of Christmas” to spread holiday cheer.  

Local residents like Jen Hastings were excited to give back to the seniors in their community.

“We’re all going to be in that space someday, so you’re hoping that someone will be there to look after you,” Jen says.

Thanks to this anonymous gift giving project, Christmas came early for residents at Carefor’s Richmond Care Home (RCH), a 16-bed retirement alternative designed for women living with dementia and other related disorders.  

The smiles, laughter, and surprise on the residents’ faces were priceless.

“It’s nice to see people that are old, happy,” RCH resident Elsie Black says. “That means a lot.” 

Click here to learn more about our residents’ unique experiences at Richmond Care Home.

Community members band together to create second library at Carefor Mackay Residential Complex

Although the provincial government has eased pandemic restrictions, both members of our communities and Carefor staff are still working hard to ensure the health and safety of our seniors.

“COVID-19 has been an exercise in flexibility and creativity, especially for those of us in the recreation field,” Carefor Recreation Coordinator Megan Shepheard explains. “We’ve had to take a lot of our programs and turn them on their head.  Where we were once gathering people together, we are now trying to keep them apart.” 

It’s without a doubt that the pandemic has changed the way we connect and interact with the world, creating a time of heightened social isolation. With that in mind, members of Pembroke wanted to give back to people in their community who need a little more ray of sunshine during these times. 

Pembroke resident Jamie Shaw heard about the efforts of Carefor staff trying to engage Mackay residents and wanted to make things a little easier by donating bins full of books. “I love to read and every book I’ve ever owned means a lot to me. It broke my heart to think of them rotting in a box untouched. Books are meant to be shared and they are meant to be read. I just wanted them to have a good home,” Jamie says.

With such a great quantity of donated books, Carefor staff decided to create a library on the second floor of the building, allowing for more space and seating options. After announcing to the community that they were looking for bookcases, Pembroke residents Chrissie McMillan and Beth Loach Matasich were quick to donate a few. 

Mackay resident Tony Beulow, who was one of the first residents to enjoy reading a book from the library, says he has enjoyed the new selection: “There’s a lot there that I’ve never seen before. I’m working on a box of ten books now, and then I will bring them back and get some more.”

Now thanks to some very generous donors, Mackay residents are excited to grab a book and travel the world through stories in the safety of our new library.

“In the moments when our current situation feels like too much, the residents are able to escape to other worlds through these books,” Megan adds. “This library is a visual reminder that people in the community are thinking of our residents and care for them deeply. I cannot express just how grateful we are to these amazing ladies who took a minute to think about how one small action can do a world of good for others.”

A Christmas wish come true

After diagnosed with terminal cancer, Arthur Coughlan arrived at Carefor Hospice Cornwall to spend his final days in a home-like setting surrounded by his loved ones and a team of caring staff.

Like many people nearing end of life, Arthur has pondered on memories,  and unrealized dreams. 

The Palliative Day Away Program at Hospice hoped they could bring some joy into the lives of their patients by giving them the opportunity to have some experiences they might have missed. This Christmas, Arthur received an early Christmas present by being able to see a place he’d always wanted to visit.

One of Arthur’s biggest wishes was to visit London, England. His eyes lit up when he spoke about his love for history. He says he has always dreamed of visiting iconic landmarks, museums, and castles. However, he and his family never had the opportunity to visit London due to financial or time constraints.

Thanks to Wishplay, a company that uses virtual reality to give everyone the opportunity to live beyond their limitation, Arthur was able to feel like he was walking down the streets of London for the first time.

“If someone always wanted to do something and wasn’t able to because of their health or finances, they can do it now,” says Shannon Ball, Patient & Family Supportive Services Coordinator. “It can also help decrease boredom or depression.” 

It’s not only the virtual reality experience that made this Christmas special for Arthur, but also all the people around him.

“There’s so much that goes on [at Hospice] that people don’t know about,” he says. “Out of all the places that I’ve been in, this is the only place that I’ve felt welcome. The minute you walked in you were treated with respect. They’re there to give you comfort and pride.”

“It’s hard to believe that this is supposed to be a place of death … This is a place of luxury, a place of living,” Arthur adds.

You can help us bring quality support programs that enrich the lives of our clients and their families by donating at https://carefor.ca/donate.

A second love story

When we marry, we expect it to be forever. We enter into it with the belief that it will be through good times and bad, till death do us part. It’s no secret that this doesn’t always happen and many people enter their later years alone. While we often think that love is a song played only for the young, sometimes you come across a story of people who hear it in their golden years.

Sometime after his wife’s passing, Wilfred Leonard decided he did not want to spend the rest of his life alone, and asked his neighbour Karen McRobert to join him for coffee. “I tried catching her one day before she went back inside to see if she would like to go to dinner or something, but she was too quick. So, the next time I saw her getting something out of the trunk of her car I made sure to go over and invite her out,” shared Wilfred.

From there, their love grew and after a short time, Wilfred and Karen decided to get married. Karen explained, “We had talked about it, and decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with one-another. We figured there was no point in waiting two years because we didn’t know how much time we would have.”

With the help of the family, the couple hosted a beautiful wedding under the gazebo at their church with immediate family this past August. Karen shared, “When we told our families we were getting married, my daughters picked it right up! They took care of everything and did an awesome job.”

Shortly thereafter, the newlyweds decided to go to the Nor-Dun Diners Drive-Thru in the fall and were met with a surprise. While they were waiting to pick up their meal, an entertainer sang a song in honour of their recent marriage. Wilfred and Karen got out of their car and started dancing in the parking lot. An announcement was made sharing the recent marriage, and diners began honking their cars in celebration of their special day. “We got up, and they started cheering us on,” Karen shared in excitement.

Now, as we approach Valentine’s Day the couple is grateful to have one-another during the COVID-19 stay home order. Karen explained, “It’s been great just having each other for company. You know, we’ll go for a drive and go down a new road just to get a change of scenery.” Although Karen is quite content to read books and to stay home, Wilfred enjoys being out of the house. Prior to COVID-19, Karen and Wilfred would go out a few times a week for coffee and to chat with the locals and would frequent the Nor-Dun Support Centre social programs.

Karen and Wilfred share the following advice for couples trying to get through the stay at home order: It’s important to be able to apologize. When you hurt someone or say something that’s not quite right, you need to be willing to say “I’m sorry, and I love you” before the end of the day. Don’t let it drag on. Telling each other you love one another is so important in any marriage, and especially when you’re together all the time.

The Carefor Community Support Centres act as hubs for hundreds of people, each with their own story to share. Read some of their stories here.

A Seniors Guide to Exercising for Joy

It is without question that exercise is beneficial at any stage of life, but did you know that exercise can actually make you happier? Thanks to the release of endorphins that make people feel good, exercise is proven to improve people’s moods and spark joy! Moreover, studies from the McMaster Optimal Aging Portal confirm that “exercise plays an active role in treating depression”, which is a particularly important finding considering that “1 in 4 seniors lives with mental health challenges (e.g., depression, anxiety or dementia) or illness, and 10 to 15% of adults 65 years or older and living in the community suffer from depression.”[1] Not only can exercise prevent depression, but it can also help to reduce stress, improve sleep and improve the overall health of seniors.

Physical activity for seniors does not need to be strenuous to improve mobility, muscle strengthening, flexibility, stamina, coordination, and overall health. In fact, just a moderate amount of daily physical activity can work wonders on the mind and the body. Some benefits of physical activity for seniors include:

• Increased ability to live independently
• Increased proprioception leading to a lowered risk of falls or fractures
• Reduced blood pressure in seniors with hypertension
• Reduced risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, colon cancer and heart disease
• Maintenance of healthy bones, muscles, and joints
• Controlled swelling of joints and pain caused from arthritis[2]

 Often, the hardest part of exercise for seniors is getting started. Finding a community group, exercise class at your nursing home or a movement practice you can enjoy with friends and family can help ease the fear of starting a new fitness regime. For seniors,  most common types of exercise programs are:

• Walking, brisk walking or stair walking
• Dancing (which, according to the academic journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, is the most likely form of exercise to reverse the signs of aging in the brain!)
• Water Aerobics
• Chair Yoga
• Resistance Band Workouts
• Pilates
• Tai Chi
• Gardening

Remember, if you or your loved one is just learning a new physical activity, start slow! The CDC recommends just 5-10 minutes of gentle movement to start and to always get a doctor’s approval before starting out a new exercise program.

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[1] https://www.canada.ca/en/national-seniors-council/programs/publications-reports/2014/social-isolation-seniors/page05.html

[2] https://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/sgr/olderad.htm

Being a caregiver in a pandemic

Doctors diagnose, nurses heal, and caregivers make sense of it all. During the COVID-19 pandemic, caregivers were relied upon more than ever as loved ones were left with little to no social programming, and caregivers adapted to a new routine.

Donna MacLean Lee is familiar with this feeling, acting as a caregiver to her mother Myrna MacLean who is living with dementia. To keep Myrna’s mind sharp and others going throughout the pandemic, Carefor’s Adult Day Program (ADP) kept running through virtual activities, and in-person one-on-one visits.

“At the beginning of the pandemic they put together a package of activities Mom could work on at home which helped,” Donna explained. Natacha Brisson, the program coordinator then began visiting Myrna, making a world of difference for both Myrna and Donna. “Natacha does a lot of good stuff with her and it gets her mind going.” Donna shared. Natacha takes a personalized approach with the program, engaging Myrna in activities she enjoys like baking, word games, arts, and crafts. 

The team at the North-Stor Support Centre have also been supportive to Donna, offering access to additional programs to make caring for her mom easier, and offering a friendly ear when times got tough.

Like other caregivers, Donna sees and experiences the importance of the ADP program every week. She believes, “The program is important to us because it gives me and my husband a break so we don’t burn out, but it also gives mom a change in her daily routine and I know she’s safe. That’s what matters most.”

Donna along with other caregivers rely on the support of the Adult Day Program in the Eastern Counties to provide friendship and meaningful connections to their loved ones. Support the program today by making a donation. 

Building friendships at Carefor’s virtual day program

Shortly after its official launch in January of 2020, our Young Onset Dementia program was suspended amid the COVID-19 lockdown. The Club is the first of its kind of program in Ottawa for people living with Young Onset Dementia, which affects individuals aged 65 and under.

While normally our ten participants would be getting together for a weekly day of fun and exercise at Carleton University, they’re still keeping their spirits up online.

One of the highlights of Day Program Team Leader Carolyn Puderer’s week is chatting with her Young Onset Dementia group: “They’re very uplifting to be around. When I leave the conversation, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.”

The participants meet several times a week to stay socially connected and active amid the outbreak, which helps to improve their quality of life and slow the advancement of the disease. 

“Everyone is so positive and upbeat. We still get to exercise and have a good laugh. I look forward to our virtual meetings. There’s never a dull minute,” Club member Angela says.

It’s not only staff and participants that are reaping the benefits of the virtual day program, caregivers are also grateful for the extra support and see this moment as a highlight of their loved one’s day.  

“I enjoy being in the background and listening to the wonderful rapport that has developed between staff and participants,” Carol, a caregiver, says. “It is comforting to know, that despite their disease, everyone is comfortable in the setting and has been able to bond together.”

 

It is estimated that 16,000 Canadians and approximately 2,000 local residents are living with Young Onset Dementia. It is through these high-quality health care programs that people living with Young Onset Dementia can feel supported in their own community.

To learn more about The Club, click here or email us at info@carefor.ca. Our Adult Day Programs rely heavily on fundraised dollars. Support our Carefor Heroes by giving at carefor.ca/donate.

Camp Erin supports grieving children who lost someone important in their lives

When Megan’s mom told her and her brother about a camp that supports children who’ve lost a loved one, they accepted without hesitation.

After losing her father, Megan was looking to connect with others that understood what she’s been through.

Going to Camp Erin made Megan realize that she’s not alone: “I can talk to them without them saying ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ because they haven’t gone through it.”

Camp Erin is cohosted by Carefor and the Eluna Network. While being one of 43 Camp Erins across North America, it is one of only three in Canada. It is the largest national bereavement program for grieving children and youth between the ages of 6 and 17. The weekend camp offers grief education and emotional support in a fun, safe camp setting.

“In that warm environment they’re sharing stories and memories and supporting each other through what can be a very difficult time,” says Clinical Director, Nancy Galway. Children who have lost a loved one often find themselves isolated as no one knows how to speak to them about their experience. Activities like making layered sand jars and the memory board give children the chance to bring out, and thus understand, their feelings using games or crafts. 

“My dad was a very smart and handsome man and it always felt like paradise when he was around,” Megan recalls. “The memory board was hard for me. It just made me feel really sad because I miss him and I wish he was here today.”

Children attend Camp Erin at no cost thanks to generous donations.

To learn more about Camp Erin, click here or email us at infoeasterncounties@carefor.ca.