When a parent is diagnosed with dementia a dynamic change takes place. Children become caregivers. “You end up co-parenting with people you never thought you’d co-parent with,” says Margaret referring to her two brothers. Margaret’s mom, Sarah, is a resident at Richmond Care Home, a 16-bed home in Richmond Ontario for women with dementia.

A big part of life is the expectations we have for it. We expect different phases to play out a certain way. “Like any relationship there are so many unexpected phases you go through, and I’m so grateful for all of them,” says Margaret. “It’s another phase. There’s no other choice for me than to look at as an opportunity…for time.”

“With dementia it’s a different way of being…the meaning comes at that moment when you’re both out for a walk. If you’re looking for the same poigniancy from the same moments at other times they won’t be there. What’s nice is that there’s plenty of them.”

“We liked this place. There aren’t too many like it.” We liked that it’s small, that it’s homelike. Her happiness is intertwined with her happiness so we’re all in it together.”

To learn more about Richmond Care Home, click here or contact info@carefor.ca

Food is love. It’s what our parents gave us as children to keep us healthy, to show us they cared without saying a word. There is a warmth that comes from sitting down over a hot meal that someone made for you. There is a connection between people that comes from it. This is what Carefor’s Meal Delivery program does.

Since March 2020, the need for food security has increased tenfold in the wake of the ongoing pandemic. Many of the individuals Carefor supports in the Eastern Counties are low-income seniors and people with disabilities. This vulnerable population has been found to be even more susceptible to poor nutrition and as a result can complicate pre-existing health conditions.

Carefor stepped up to the plate and increased their Meal Delivery program capacity by over 88% to accommodate more people in the Eastern Counties. Now a year into the pandemic, the need for nutritious meals is only growing.

With over 37,633 meals prepared by the five Carefor Community Support Centres, each delivered by one of 136 dedicated volunteers who continued to donate their time during the pandemic, the Carefor Meal Delivery program continues to bring the community together.

Every year, Carefor recognizes March for Meals week, an annual Ontario Community Support Association event to increase awareness and community engagement with local Meals on Wheels providers across Ontario. Local politicians and public figures join the effort by speaking out, delivering some meals themselves, and supporting community led initiatives.

Some familiar faces clients may have seen delivering their meals include MP Eric Duncan, OPP Constable Tylor Copeland, Mayor Tony Fraser, Fire Prevention Officer Captain Terry Foley, Dr. David Flowers, South Glengarry Fire Chief Dave Robertson, and Deputy Chief James Walker.

Dianne Kuipers, Carefor’s Manager of Community Support Services shared, “Each year, Carefor joins many other organizations in shining a spotlight on its Meals Delivery program. The pandemic served to highlight exactly how the program is so much more than just a meal. My hope is that the campaign will affirm the importance of the program in our local communities. May it engage people to register for the program or to volunteer to deliver meals or to donate to offset the rising costs of food. The success of the Meals Delivery Program depends on many hands. We are all in this together!”

There are hundreds of people in your community who need your help today. You can ensure the health and safety of vulnerable members in your community by becoming a Meal Delivery volunteer or making a donation towards your local Community Support Centre.

When we’re children, we don’t grow up thinking our moms would ever forget. She’s the one who raised and shaped us into who we are today. The one who made sure nothing would go amiss. She reminded us about our lunch before going to school or not to forget to call her if we’re running late. She was the one we could rely on. When Mother’s Day came around, it was finally our time to remember all she has done for us.

As our parents age so much of what we took for granted suddenly becomes seen and appreciated. But when this person near and dear to our heart is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Mother’s Day stops being one day, but is celebrated every day. For Luminita and Mihaela Serbanescu, since their mother, Gabriela, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s seven years ago, they know it’s up to them to remember.

Luminita and Mihaela are the ones now keeping their families’ memories of the past alive remembering the days that were. They’re also responsible for remembering the present. “Now we’re the ones to remind her where she’s going and responsible to cook her food, grab the groceries, and schedule appointments,” Luminita said.

While they miss the mother who introduced them to their favourite books and was part of their fondest childhood memories, they’re grateful that she was there when they needed her the most.

“It’s horrible to know that person isn’t there anymore. She really has become a totally different person. It’s hard for us to see mom go through that change, but now it’s our time to be there for her.”

Shortly before the pandemic, the sisters were thinking about placing their mother in the care of a nursing home. “It was a hard decision, but we knew it was the last resort,” Luminita said.

Ultimately, they felt confident that with the help of Carefor’s Carling Adult Day Program and making some changes to their own lives, they could spend more time with mom and give her all the loving care she deserves, at home.

Luminita sold her house and Mihaela retired, both moving into an apartment building a few floors from each other so that their mother could have better mobility. Both sisters split up tasks to ensure mom is well cared for.

Carefor’s in-person program gave mom companionship, care, and kept her mentally stimulated. Now more than a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, the lack of respite has been hard for the family. Despite these challenges, the sisters are grateful to have each other and to know that Carefor is always there for support – whether near or far.

“Mom started attending the program five years ago. She always said Carefor staff are ‘people of quality.’ Now, with the pandemic and mom’s worsening eyesight, they still continue to reach out and show that they care and that means a lot,” Luminita said. “If we were still in Romania, we couldn’t get the support like we do here. We’re lucky to be in Canada to get a lot of help.”

Across Ottawa are the people who cared for us – our mothers. While the world locks down they still need help, perhaps more than ever. Carefor staff are finding creative ways to make a positive impact to keep them healthy and to help them feel less alone at home. Your donation helps us reach out to these families in ways we never have before. Please give today.

The United Nations chooses to recognize July 30th as the International Day of Friendship, reflecting the idea that friendships between peoples, countries and individuals inspire peace and build bridges between communities.

With COVID-19 affecting our lives so severely, we’ve all taken a new perspective on what friendship means and how to maintain it through social distancing. Programs like the Carefor Befriending Program in Eastern Counties are essential for many people in the region to stay connected through the outbreak.

The Befriending Program takes the true meaning of friendship to heart, offering compassion, comfort and respect to members of the Carefor Social Club. The club is a safe space for adults with physical disabilities and their families to seek support both from peers and volunteers through planned group activities.

Kevin Snider has been an active member of the club for over 20 years and has come to be a familiar face in the group. Kevin misses being able to get together with his friends at social activities like bowling, dining out at restaurants, and going to the mall.  Kevin says about seeing his friends at the club: “I feel happy, and it makes me feel good. Everybody is a friend,” which is a shared sentiment with other club members.

Although the program has moved online in the past few months, it hasn’t stopped Kevin from staying in touch with his friends. The group still engages with one-another using Zoom and Facebook to do exercises, games, and activities together. Members of the club also connect over the phone as some participants are unable to use a computer.

Carole Snider, Kevin’s mom and a volunteer with the group, believes this program fills a void within the region. “This club is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. This program gives them a fullness of life other than doctors visits.”

Lisa Steer-Vachon, the team leader of the Befriending Program shared, “The Carefor Social Club is inclusive and everyone is treated as an equal. If we’re participating in an activity online or in-person everyone is participating on the same level. We’re like a family.”

Although Kevin can’t see his friends in-person right now, he eagerly looks forward to seeing them online every day. Kevin offered, “I hope everyone makes the best of every day,” which is not only a powerful message to his one-hundred friends and members of the Carefor Social Club in Eastern Counties, but to us all.

Learn more about the Carefor Befriending Program here.

Addressing ageism, myths of aging, and having the opportunity to have genuine interactions with seniors is not typically a topic of conversation in many elementary schools. Kids are often too focused on the here and now. Carefor’s Carling Adult Day programs want to change that.

Carling Adult Day programs, offering a mental health social support group for isolated seniors and a respite program for individuals living with dementia, is leading community initiatives that show the value and importance of bringing generations together. Program staff have been exploring and facilitating meaningful interactions between young people and older adults.

To bring this idea to fruition, day program staff Meghan Kenny connected with Dr. Jenny Small, the director of St. Timothy’s Classical Academy. Dr. Small was delighted with the idea of having her students participate in the Intergenerational Program.

Beginning in October 2019, groups of Grade 3 to Grade 8 students closely interacted with day program clients for more than an hour. Each group visited the programs once prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, affecting future meetups.

“We wanted to show students that while it’s easy to imagine an older senior, they often don’t see them as people with individual likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. We really wanted them to see how seniors are much like them, but just older,” says Meghan. “This initiative is also a great opportunity for seniors to connect with students and relate to them in a different world then the one they grew up in.”

Despite COVID-19 derailing the project, Dr. Small encouraged her students to continue to connect with seniors during this time of heightened social isolation.

“The lockdown, although protecting vulnerable people from serious illness, has unfortunately increased social isolation and exacerbated the effects of dementia and other mental illnesses amongst seniors,” says Dr. Small. “It’s vital to help them feel connected to society and feel a sense of being cared for.”

As a result of this initiative, 44 students have been paired with seniors, mailing messages of hope and best wishes to them during this challenging time. For Let’s Get Together Club client Isobel Heron, 90 years of age, she shared how the personal letter she received from a student really warmed her heart.

“I was surprised and quite pleased to receive a young man’s letter. In the letter Thaddeus said that he and his mom are praying for me and keeping me in their thoughts. Isn’t that interesting, that we are three generations apart and they are thinking of me? I was really touched by that comment.”

While the students and seniors are not physically able to spend time together, they are staying connected virtually during this, and that is what really matters.

“It’s important to show our seniors that we love, respect and value them as important members of our community. Although they may feel more isolated now, as a result of the pandemic, we must do our best to ensure they know we care about them,” Meghan says.

Learn more about Carefor’s Adult Day programs and how they are making a difference in our community. Our programs rely heavily on fundraised dollars – please offer your support during this time of need by giving at carefor.ca/donate.

“My father has been the world’s best father”, Marilyn Wilson says of her father, whom she has been caring for since developing dementia. Marilyn’s father, Eric, is part of the Perley Day Program, a respite care program offered by Carefor.

For Marilyn, caring for her father is a way of returning the favour of caring for her growing up. “I find it a privilege to be able to be able to be here and care for my dad, and to give him the love and support that he gave us as children”, she says.

Marilyn is always positive about living in the present. “I was the one then asking all the questions, and now the wheels have turned, and that’s okay”, she says of the dynamic shift. “We’re going the journey together”.

To learn more about the Perley Day Program, click here or email us at info@carefor.ca.

How time flies, especially as we age. And it’s in those later years getting out and staying connected in your community becomes so important to your overall wellbeing.

For Lorraine and Gerald, retirement called them to a familiar home in Williamstown where they found relaxation and friendship after living in Cornwall for many years. However, it was the people who they bought their home from that opened the door of the Carefor Lan-Char Support centre to them. Lorraine explained, “We had known the homeowners for a long time, and when we were new to the area, they suggested the centre as a way to get out and meet some people.” From there, Lorraine and Gerald became frequent visitors to programs including the Diners Club, the physio classes, and more.

Looking on the past nineteen years of being part of the South Glengarry community, Lorraine thinks of the sense of community that comes from living in a rural area. She shared, “Living in the country, it’s a whole different atmosphere. It’s peaceful. And the people are so different – they don’t’ mind stopping and helping you. We’re all here for one another.” That same sense of community is felt through the Lan-Char Support Centre, with the friends they’ve made over the years.

However, things changed when Gerald had a fall in early 2021, and Lorraine found herself needing support. The couple was offered to take part in the Going Home Program, a service specifically tailored for seniors being discharged from the hospital to help support them and their loved ones in the early days of recovery. Services include meals, transportation, homemaking, etc.

After the first 10 days, Gerald and Lorraine decided to continue to receive healthy meals through the Meal Delivery Program. Lorraine shared, “It just makes life easier. The price is right, and I don’t need to worry about buying groceries to have the kind of meals we do.” As a caregiver, Lorraine sees the Meal Delivery program as a reprieve a few days a week. Lorraine said, “It’s less days that I have to think about what we’re going to have for lunch. A lot of times we just finish breakfast and within an hour Gerald is asking what we’re having for lunch so it’s nice to know I don’t need to worry about it.”

It’s hard to believe that the Carefor Support Centres have been providing services to seniors like Lorraine and Gerald in Lancaster and Alexandria for more than 30 years. Carefor’s Going Home and Meal Delivery programs is just two examples of programs that support people in a time of need. It’s programs like these that are essential to the Glengarry area to help ensure people stay healthy, and it’s been through donor support that we’ve continued to be able to offer them over the last three decades.

For Linda Beimers, transitioning into retirement was not easy. When she lived alone in an apartment, she described the experience as depressing and lonely.

“I was really starting to get depressed. I needed to talk to people,” she says.

Now after nearly three years at Carefor Pembroke Residential Complex, she hasn’t looked back: “I really like it here.” 

Whether it’s her roommate, residents in the hallways, entertainment rooms, communal eating area, or the staff, Linda always has someone to talk to: “That makes me cheerful,” she says.

Theresa Denault, Linda’s roommate, has been at Civic Complex for a couple years, and also considers staff and residents as her extended family. “There’s freedom here; It’s just like home to me.”

While Linda and Theresa’s friendship is special in its own way, it’s not uncommon. For our residents, Carefor is truly a home away from home, filled with laughter, friendship, and a sense of belonging.

Learn more about the changing face of retirement and retirement living in Pembroke.

Seeking high quality care is only the tip of the iceberg when planning end of life care. Patients and their families are also yearning for compassion and could benefit from additional supports.

Faye Watson is familiar with the need for these supports as her husband, Tim, passed away peacefully at Carefor Hospice in July of 2019.

Prior to Tim’s ten-day stay at Hospice, Faye had taken on the role of caregiver allowing her husband to remain at home for three years with the help of home care services. “The nurses would come and see him, and so would Dr. Lee. It was hard on him. He was so used to doing everything on his own, and it slowed him down.”

Like many spouses, Faye wanted to do everything possible to keep Tim at home. “You don’t want to place him in a home, and you want to look after him as much as you can.”

Tim was a hard worker, retiring from a 30-year career at Domtar in 1995. Married to Faye for over 57 years, the couple had two sons who kept them busy over the years coaching the boys in minor football.

Once retired, Tim filled his days by running errands and watching movies. “Because he had a hard time breathing with his COPD and was using oxygen, watching movies was something he could do and enjoy.”

Once Tim’s disease progressed, Faye turned to Hospice to help make him comfortable in his final days. “The girls up there were so good to him. They bathed and shaved him. They even cut his hair. He was really well treated. You couldn’t ask for better.”

Faye found her own comfort by joining the Caregiver Support Group, and later partaking in the Bereavement Group. These programs, along with all other services offered through Carefor Hospice are open to the community with the hope of acting as a support network, creating an open forum for talking about death and dying. “I’ve met a lot of nice people and it was very helpful to me. They would come and pick me up and drop me off at home after the meetings, so it got me out of the house. They do wonderful work up there.”

Faye is still an active participant in the Bereavement Group at Carefor Hospice, now communicating with the group on conference calls. She misses seeing the staff and participants and looks forward to returning to the in-person program format down the road.

Carefor Hospice in Cornwall offers an essential support network to your community. For more information on the supports available, click here.

If you’d like to help ensure the future availability of these programs, click here to donate.

Looking back at nearly two years of living in a COVID-19 world, many of us feel as if time has stood still, and we’re eagerly waiting for life to return to normal.

For people in our communities living with dementia and for their care partners, this period has forever changed their lives. Joan Craig remembers her family holiday to Jamaica two years ago as one of the last memories of life feeling like normal.

“It was the only time in our lives we had a winter holiday, and everything went well,” she shared. A few months before, her husband Dann had attended Carefor’s Perley Adult Day Program following his dementia diagnosis, but he didn’t feel like he fit in. “After we came back, I noticed that Dann’s dementia was progressing.”

Dann rejoined the program shortly after their trip. As his dementia progressed, they both found the in-person program life-changing. “The staff knew how to make him feel special,” Joan said.

Much-needed break

Carefor’s program provided not only a special time for Dann, but also for Joan.

“When I dropped off Dann for a six-hour in-person program, those were hours I could pretend to be me again: to get a haircut, meet somebody for coffee, or clean the house. It’s not always the respite people think, but it’s needed.”

While caring for the ones we love is simply second nature, the reality is that no one is fully prepared to be a care partner. The Carefor Perley Program is one of three dementia programs currently offered by Carefor that strives to provide more than respite, but also a support system to lean on.

“They pay attention to each caregiver and their individual needs. They provide valuable information on different topics and teach you how to handle some tricky situations,” Joan said.

Once the pandemic hit and Carefor quickly transitioned to virtual day programs, like many caregivers, Joan felt the strain of caregiving for someone living with dementia amid a pandemic as many resources were put on hold.

“I saw him declining right in front of my eyes. The extra respite we received meant the world to me. They just knew how to reach him. That said, when you’re stuck at home, those special touches from Carefor staff like acknowledging birthdays, holidays, facilitating bingo games, and just finding ways to make people feel good went a long way.”

In early May, as Dann’s dementia rapidly progressed, an incident that would last only six seconds would alter the course of their lives forever.

The transition to long-term care (LTC)

Dann was admitted to hospital after falling from steps in his home. Shortly after, he got pneumonia and had to stay an extra six weeks in hospital. Upon hearing the news, the Carefor Perley Program reached out to support.

“It was the Zoom sessions that saved the day,” Joan admitted. From coffee chats, music, to exercise sessions, the virtual meetings provided something for both people living with dementia and their care partners. “While it wasn’t the same as in-person, it created a routine. It was a time for your loved one to feel special again, which goes a long way.”

In June 2021, Dann moved to LTC. “I needed more help. I needed more respite. I couldn’t do even simple tasks.” Joan described it as a cry for help. “I know Carefor did everything they could do.”

The decision to transition a loved one to LTC is not easy. Carefor’s programs strive to keep loved ones at home for as long as possible. Carefor Program Manager Isabelle Chartrand and Team Leader Erica Miskiman run the Perley program and understand the value of such a support system for this community.

“There are lots of emotions like relief, guilt and anxiety when care partners struggle to support their loved ones and have to make the decision to move them to LTC,” Isabelle said.

Despite the change, Joan has continued to stay in contact with the Carefor team.

She continued to participate in the virtual programming not only for its engaging activities, but also to simply see other people and interact with them during an isolating time.

“The relationship doesn’t end after they’re discharged from our care,” Erica said. “We’ve been part of their lives for so long, so they’ll always be part of and welcome in our community. We aim to reduce their isolation during this transition. We know how difficult this time is for care partners, so we’re there for them until they’re ready to let us go and build trust within another community, like a LTC home.”

Joan’s story isn’t a first, but among many others who have been impacted by the challenges of caring for someone living with dementia during a pandemic. Supporting Carefor’s programs means ensuring essential support systems are there when families need it.