Why Should I Send My Parents to A Retirement Home?

Making the decision to find a retirement home for your parents is never easy and is one that requires a considerable amount of careful thought, as well as the evaluation of several factors. No two situations are the same, and your parents’ situation will always differ from that of your friends’ parents or from anyone else that you ask for advice. To know when it’s the right time to consider a retirement home for your aging parents, look out for these key signs.

1 – They’re no longer able to take care of themselves

Probably the biggest sign that it’s time to move your parents out of their home is that they’re unable to handle basic tasks like preparing their own meals, tidying up after themselves, remembering to take their medication, and showering or bathing. This can get particularly dangerous when considering that they might forget to turn off the oven or could skip taking medication that’s crucial to maintaining their health.

2 – Their cognitive or physical limitations are too difficult for your family to manage

As much effort as you may have put into your parents’ care, sometimes they have conditions that you just aren’t equipped to manage. Whether it’s a lack of knowledge when it comes to your mother’s dementia, or that the only child living within driving distance to your parents frequently works overtime and is unable to be present, you’ll know it’s time for them to enter a retirement home when you can’t provide them with the assistance required to maintain their quality of life. Often children who make the decision to find a retirement home for their parents see the benefit it has on their lives and wish they had made the decision sooner. Your parent may be fully capable of remembering to shower and take their medication, but sometimes they simply need more professional help than that. They could have physical disabilities or illnesses that require 24/7 medical care, including the presence of somebody being around overnight to make sure that they’re supported. As much as you may want to be there for them, you likely don’t have the skills or resources necessary to give them the medical attention they need – luckily, they can give that in a retirement home.

3 – Retirement homes can reduce isolation and loneliness

Aging at home can be isolating and lonely. Despite children’s and family members greatest efforts to visit and be there for their loved ones, prolonged periods alone can lead to depression and other mental health challenges. Should you see signs of depression in your parent it might be time to consider retirement living to improve their mental health. The community that is created within the retirement facility can become an important support for you and your loved one.

At Carefor, we know how momentous of a decision it can be to place your parents in a retirement home and recognize that you likely have many questions to ask to help guide your choice. We have worked with countless families to support them through this transition and educated them on retirement options near them – please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us today at https://carefor.ca/contact-us. We are always happy to hear from you.

How to Prepare Your Home and Your Life for a Parent Who is Moving in With You

Making the decision to have your parent move in with you is no easy feat. There will be a significant adjustment period for the both of you, and there are several factors you’ll have to consider that you likely wouldn’t have thought of if you were living alone or with your spouse or children. While you’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that your parent is safer under your roof and close by, it’s also important to take these extra steps to ensure that the transition goes smoothly.

To prepare your home:

• Based on the layout of your home, assess whether you can have your parent live on the ground floor to the risk of falling up or down the stairs.
• Slip-proof your bathroom by installing grab bars beside the toilet and in the shower area and place non-slip mats on the floor and in the shower.
• Install a baby monitor in their room, which can be a life-saving communication tool if they’re trying to reach you but are having mobility issues.
• Scan your home for any safety risks, like toys your parent could trip over or sharp edges that could be dangerous if they fall.
• Consider installing a ramp or automatic stair lift if there is a need for them to use the stairs.

To prepare your life:

• – Have a conversation with your parent about how things usually work in your household so that they’re aware of you or your family’s schedule, and any other important elements they should know before moving in, such as when you do groceries or how often you head to the pharmacy. Having an open conversation about lifestyle helps minimize arguments or disagreements later and ensures that both of you are on the same page in terms of goals and expectations.
• – Look at your and your parent’s finances and create a budget that you can work with. Consider that their food and medications may be an extra cost to your household, as will any other equipment or items required for their care. Analyzing finances beforehand reduces the likelihood of any expensive surprises further down the line.

Senior Winter Safety Guide

Every year when the weather turns, seniors face a greater risk of everything from hypothermia to slips and falls to car accidents. This senior winter safety guide is an essential resource for anyone over 65 and caregivers for our senior population. 

Part 2: Winter Driving Tips

Did you know that adults over 65 are involved in more car crashes per mile driven than those in other age groups? Snow, ice, and dark nights make operating any kind of vehicle in the winter months a scary endeavor.

“In 2017, nearly 30 per cent of collisions reported to the National Collision Database happened on wet, snowy or icy roads. One third happened in January, February, November and December” – Government of Canada

Winter road conditions can be extremely dangerous, and we recommend taking these precautions before hopping in the driver’s seat:

• “Winterize” your car early by putting on winter tires, stocking up on windshield washer fluid, antifreeze and snow brushes and ice scrapers.
• Bring your cell phone anytime you drive, especially in bad weather, while also letting people know that you are heading out.
• Check highway conditions online or by calling 511 before you leave, and if conditions are poor, reschedule your plans.
• Clear all the snow and ice from your car before you head out on the road and get others to help.
• Avoid driving on icy roads and be especially careful driving on highways, bridges. Consider alternate routes, even if it means driving a longer distance, if the more direct route is less safe. Often bigger roads are cleared of snow better than smaller roads.
• Stock your car with basic emergency supplies such as:
  • First aid kit
  • Blankets
  • Extra warm clothes
  • Booster cables
  • Windshield scraper
  • Shovel
  • Tow strap
  • Rock salt or a bag of sand or cat litter (in case your wheels get stuck)
  • Water and dried food or canned food (with can opener!)
  • Flashlight
  • Map (if traveling in new areas)
• Keep an eye on the weather report and temperature. Transport Canada suggests that black ice is present on roads between 4 degrees Celsius and –4 degrees Celsius and can appear on roads, bridges and overpasses all day and night. They also affirm that snow and ice are more slippery at 0 degrees Celsius than at –20 or below!

Bookmark this page and pull it up on the next blustery day so you can review our dos and don’ts’ when it comes to winter driving before you hit the road.

Senior Winter Safety Guide

Every year when the weather turns, seniors face a greater risk of everything from hypothermia to slips and falls to car accidents. This senior winter safety guide is an essential resource for anyone over 65 and caregivers for our senior population.

Part 1: 10 Tips to Avoid Frostbite and Hypothermia

Getting older and feeling colder? There’s some actual science behind that. The older we get, the faster our bodies lose heat and the less likely we are to be aware of how cold we are. As a result, seniors are more at risk of frostbite and hypothermia. Hypothermia occurs when your body temperature gets under 95 degrees Fahrenheit, and can trigger health problems such as heart attack, kidney problems and liver damage. Many people don’t know that hypothermia can also happen indoors when it’s very cold. Here are the top 10 tips to avoid frostbite and hypothermia in the cold winter months.

Layer clothing: Wear breathable (cotton, wool) clothes, including thermal underwear, undershirt, track suits, sweaters, snowsuits, winter boots, hats, mittens, and scarves.

Cover exposed skin: Exposed skin can become frostbitten in as little as 30 seconds. Always cover exposed skin, especially when wind is a factor.

Keep moving: Try to stay mobile. Stand up and move around to allow circulation to better reach all body parts.

Blankets and portable seat/cushion: Sitting on cold pavement or concrete can increase the risk of hypothermia. Sitting on a blanket or portable seat will limit the risk.

Drink fluids: Dehydration can occur even when the temperature is below freezing. Hot chocolate is a great way to stay hydrated.

Avoid alcoholic beverages: Alcohol diminishes the body’s ability to feel the cold.

Look out for the following signs of frostbite and call 911 if you are experiencing any of these: ale grey, waxy textured skin, numbness, and localized pain, swelling and blistering, and signs of hypothermia such as confusion, lethargy, weakness, apathy, or pale skin colour.

There’s a common assumption that older adults are more at risk of getting injured when they leave their home; however, the reality is the complete opposite. Most falls, accidents, and injuries to the elderly happen in their own home, despite it being the place they’re most comfortable in. Often, your parent is so used to their surroundings that they aren’t necessarily as vigilant as they should be.

If you’ve decided that your parent is capable enough to continue living in their own home, here are a few tips on how to safeguard their health.

• Print emergency numbers and keep them handy; such as, 911, your phone number, another family member’s number, and your parent’s doctor’s number. This helps them easily know what to dial if they’re in a rush, instead of trying to remember.
• Ensure that all medications are in their original containers so that your parent doesn’t mix up their pills and end up taking more or less than they should.
• Install grab bars and non-slip mats in bathrooms to prevent the risk of falls and set the thermostat to no higher than 120 degrees Fahrenheit to avoid getting scalded by hot water.
• Check batteries in fire alarms and carbon monoxide detectors at least twice a year.
• Tape all rugs to the floor so they don’t shift when being walked on or put down non-slip carpet liners. Carpets should never be placed at the bottom or top of stairs.
• Clear your home of debris or tripping hazards.
• If your parent must use the stairs, make sure that they are lined with non-slip carpeting.
• Buy a special alarm that your parent can wear as a bracelet or necklace in case they fall and are unable to get up and get help. The alarm automatically places a call to emergency services.

Aging at home can be extremely important to seniors who are still safe and capable to do so. The risk of aging at home is loneliness and isolation. As their caregiver, it will be up to you to ensure that they are still engaging with friends and family, still participating in brain boosting activities like puzzles or crosswords, and still exercising and maintaining mobility. Should you feel it is time for your loved one to enter a retirement facility, our team at Carefor is here to help provide affordable retirement care that feels just like home.

When we think of falls, we often think of the famous catchphrase “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” As you may recall, this quote from an American television ad was for a product that would make it easier for people living alone to reach out for help if they’re in a medical emergency, such as a fall. 

The reason being because falls are the most common cause of injury-related hospitalization for seniors aged 65 and older. Studies have shown that falls can lead to loss of independence, mobility problems, depression and even death. The good news is that falls are preventable. 

Seniors can reduce their risk of falls by increasing their physical activity with muscle strengthening exercises that improve mobility and balance. 

As an organization that provides various home care services, including physiotherapy, to thousands of seniors in Ottawa, we’ve seen the challenges seniors face to stay safe and healthy. We all play a role in raising awareness. 

Follow or share these simple seated fall prevention exercises that improve strength, range of motion and flexibility. 

Please note: Repetitions should be based on your care plan and ability. Consult with your doctor if necessary.

By: CEO Steve Perry

The topic of truth and reconciliation is not an easy one for me to write about. Part of that is because I’m white, which means I haven’t lived the injustices it is trying to bring to light. I do, however, know that I have benefitted, like all non-Indigenous people in Canada, from practices that were carried in the creation of the country we now know.

Our Indigenous communities have been marginalized intentionally over generations. Many people have denied it and others have known but not acted. Through the work of many across Canada the truth has become undeniable. The voices are too loud and too many to ignore. I will admit that I am still learning, as are we all, but I know that I am grateful to those who have the courage and wisdom to persist. We are becoming a better country for it.

I do believe that Canada is a great country, but I also believe that we have much to understand and learn about ourselves. Carrying on without any real reflection of how we got here is empty and naïve.

September 30th is the first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. As with all things that are new, they will require some adjustment. It will be hard for all communities, Indigenous and not, to bring this truth to bear. We as a nation, province and organization must be open to listening to what our Indigenous communities have to say. A day is merely one of 365 in a year, this should not mean that we hide our history away for the other 364.

Carefor is proud of our work that supports Indigenous people, including our partnership with Ottawa Inner City Health and the Shepherds of Good Hope, and our partnership with Larga Baffin to provide nursing services to local Inuit peoples.

For me as an individual and for Carefor as an organization, truth and reconciliation is a journey. One that has started long before we became aware of it. September 30th will be a milestone in this journey, but it’s not the end. We, at Carefor, will honour this day and celebrate it as an opportunity to become more aware and inclusive of the people on whose ancestral lands we operate.

By: Shannon Ball, Patient & Family Supportive Services Coordinator – Hospice Cornwall

Anyone who has lost a loved one to a terminal illness can understand the pain, despair and physical, emotional and spiritual torment that comes along with this experience. Intense grieving emotions occur before the loved one dies; this is known as anticipatory grief. Rather than just the feelings of loss that come from the death alone, this type of grief impacts the griever in many ways, including the loss of a companion, the changing roles in the family, fear of financial changes, and the loss of dreams of what could be.

This anticipatory grief begins often at the point of diagnosis. Prognoses differ for everyone diagnosed with a terminal illness, with some having less time than others. Each of the people impacted by the diagnosis grieves differently and displays their grief in different ways. Some people may stay in denial, never acknowledging or discussing the reality of the loss with those close to them. Others may choose to be very open about the reality of the impending loss with those around them.

Choosing treatment options is also something that is unique for every person and family. Some people pursue all treatment options provided to them, maybe because it is their wish to, or maybe they choose this option for their loved ones. Others do not wish to try any treatment options and prefer to focus on comfort measures only.

This journey is one of the most stressful experiences that an individual and family can go through. It is often a time where families come together, have meaningful conversations and value the time that they have left with each other. With all of the stress, intense emotions and differing opinions, it may also cause friction among different family members.  Whatever path individuals choose to take, one important factor that predicts positive outcomes for families is the ability to accept and receive support.

Carefor Hospice Cornwall’s goal is to support individuals and families facing palliative diagnoses and to provide ongoing support throughout this journey. People may hear the word ‘hospice’ and become intimated or afraid, as they associate the word with imminently dying. This is a major misconception when it comes to hospice palliative care. Our goal at Carefor Hospice Cornwall is to provide the needed supports as early on in the diagnosis stage as possible.

Community programs provide services to individuals and families to lighten the burden while they remain at home. Clients who attend the Palliative Day Program receive the opportunity to connect with others who have also been diagnosed with a palliative illness. They can open up in ways that they may not have felt comfortable doing with others. They experience moments of joy, laughter and community, while their caregivers have some needed respite time.

Caregivers who are struggling can benefit from one-on-one and group support with other caregivers. Navigating their emotions and receiving education can help families work together these stressful times. Receiving information on what to expect, and having their questions and concerns explored enables clients to have a clear understanding and avoid problems that may arise, had they not been discussed beforehand. Knowing that they always have someone to reach out to provides relief and helps them feel that they are not in this alone. All of these supportive components create resiliency for when the death eventually occurs. When someone is admitted residentially to hospice for end-of-life-care, it is critical that the education and support continues. Family members are provided the opportunity to be with their loved ones as family members, rather than caregivers. Hospice staff take on personal care tasks and allow family members to spend quality time together, building memories and having meaningful conversations. They are given the opportunity to say goodbye.

End-of-Life education is a very important component to end-of-life care. Teaching families what to expect during the dying process can prevent avoidable, traumatic experiences, which would stay with family members long after the loss takes place. Assurance that their loved ones are comfortable and receiving proper, dignified care is pivotal to their grieving experience. 

Although ongoing support and education is a major determinant of loved ones having a positive grieving outcome, once the death actually occurs it can be surprising how intense the emotions of grief can be. Loved ones may have felt like they were prepared for the loss, but once the person has passed away intense yearning, and feelings of guilt, anger, sadness and loneliness can be all-encompassing. As much as people can prepare for a loss, actually experiencing the loss and the emotions of grief is something that cannot fully be prepared for.

The grieving experience for individuals is as unique as the relationship the person has with the deceased. Family members grieve and mourn differently, internally and externally. It is crucial that individuals have support networks in place. People within their own support networks, such as family, friends, or spiritual communities can be a great source of strength. Ideally, grieving individuals have multiple people that they can reach out to to discuss their loss and grief in an empathetic, non-judgmental exchange. Even if the griever has a positive, internal support network, it is recommended to also accept professional grief support. This is even more important if the griever does not have many close contacts that they feel comfortable opening up to.

Carefor Hospice Cornwall takes initiative to reach out to grieving family members after a resident passes, to check in and encourage them to participate in the different grief supports that we offer. One-on-one support and support groups with other grieving individuals allow people to receive confidential, non-judgmental support from others who understand what they are going through.

Peer support group participants learn from each other and realize that they are not alone in their experience. Sometimes it is easier for grievers to open up to people who are distanced from their immediate support network, as they do not want to ‘burden’ their loved ones while they too are also grieving. Grievers need empathetic people to walk with them in their grief experiences. They do not need people trying to ‘fix’ their grief. Often times, people need reassurance that what they are experiencing is normal.

As painful as a grieving experiencing can be, it is a natural and necessary reaction to a loss. Grief is our necessary reaction to process and cope with the loss that takes place. Grief is never fully healed; the loss stays with grievers for life, just as the love they have for the deceased never goes away. Although there is no ending point for grief, grief is also transformative. It changes over time and as our perception of the loss changes through grief work.

Reminders of the losses we experience are everywhere. Anniversaries and special occasions can result in more intense grief emotions. These experiences can be very difficult for grievers, especially if a significant amount of time has passed since the death occurred. Professional grief support encourages clients to allow themselves to fully experience whichever emotions need to be felt, and explore facets of their grief that are troubling to them and need to be worked through. This is critical in order for grievers to focus on not the loss itself, but the relationship that they had and continue to actively cherish and maintain with the deceased.  

For more information about Carefor Hospice Cornwall’s programs and services, please visit us at www.cornwallhospice.com. To donate to help support these programs and services, please visit our support page. 

 

You are now confronting a life-threatening illness. This is a difficult and perhaps frightening time, but you should know that you are not alone. To support you, there are compassionate, experienced people who can ease your pain and help in any way that is important for you.

What Is My Prognosis?

You are a full partner in the team that is caring for you at this stage in your life. You deserve, therefore, to be told as much about your condition and its likely progression as you want to know at any one time. Be honest and open about what, and how much detail, you want to know. Your loved ones can help too. By attending physician and care meetings and taking notes.

How Will I Feel?

People experience this transition in an entirely personal and individual way. You may feel shock, numbness, disbelief, panic, helplessness or hopelessness. You may feel angry or frightened, anxious or guilty, or terribly sad. You may feel all of these things, your mind zigzagging between emotions like lightning bolts, or you may even feel at peace.

All of these emotions are normal. There are no ways that you “should” behave or emotions that you “should” feel, but there are people on the hospice palliative care team who can help you understand and cope with the power of your own feelings.

I Don’t Want To Be Alone At This Time In My Life.

The hospice palliative care team works to ensure that you and your loved ones are supported in whatever ways you need. Hospice palliative care is offered to you by your doctor and team of professional health care providers, volunteers, loved ones and yourself.

Experienced members of the hospice palliative care team can answer your questions about death itself and can respond gently but openly to anything you want to know.

How Will My Care Be Managed?

You deserve to be a full partner in the management of your own care, and you deserve to have your needs and desires respected by all of your caregivers, from your family physician, your nurses and therapists, to your family and friends.

Begin a dialogue with your caregivers so that they are always aware of your concerns and wishes, and it will be easier for you to be honest and open as these change.

Hospice palliative care considers that dying is an important part of living, and that it is essential to manage pain and other symptoms effectively so that those facing death, and their loved ones, can devote their energies not to fighting physical discomfort, but to embracing the time they have left together.

The hospice will assist you:

• to be a full partner in your own care,
• to minimize your pain,
• to have your decisions and choices respected and followed,
• to be treated with openness and honesty, without deception or half-truths,
• to receive quality medical and nursing care,
• to be cared for by compassionate, sensitive and knowledgeable people who will attempt to understand your needs and try to meet them, and
• to live and die in peace and with dignity.

What About Pain And Other Symptoms?

Hospice palliative care understands pain in two ways: it can be both physical pain and “soul” pain, anguish that is in a person’s head and heart.

Physical pain and symptoms can be eased with the careful use of medication, a process in which health care teams, patients and their families work together to find the best pain and symptom relief.

Hospice palliative care teams include compassionate, sensitive, knowledgeable people who can help patients and their loved ones work through soul pain.

Sharon Maye,                                     
Director of Operations and Programs, Renfrew County 

Aging is a natural progression in life’s journey – a journey that is different for everyone. Seniors may approach this time with a renewed sense of vitality, adventure, and independence. Others will be faced with managing chronic health conditions, being a caregiver for their spouse, or struggling with needing more help with everyday tasks.

In Renfrew County, where seniors 65+ are expected to account for 30% of the population, many need supportive housing. Such individuals need help with activities of daily living and personal care but have difficulty accessing service and are increasingly socially isolated. Yet, many worry about moving from their homes to a retirement home with good reason.

Here are Carefor’s 5 tips for transitioning into retirement living with ease: 

1. Start the conversation with your support team

An important step when making any major decision is reaching out to people who can provide the best guidance. Having open and honest conversations with friends, family, and others with a wealth of knowledge, like financial experts and estate planners will make sure you’re creating a retirement plan that will minimize the anxieties that come with transitioning into retirement living.

 2. Research our retirement living options 

The stigma surrounding retirement homes is centered on misconceptions of losing freedom, connections with friends and family, choices, and dignity. At Carefor, with decades of expertise, our emphasis is to provide independent, assisted senior care in a healthy, inclusive retirement home by focusing on community, healthy nutrition, safety, and happiness.

Though large geographically, Renfrew County is known for its smaller villages and towns where everyone knows each other. The sense of security and community is profound and important in the lives of residents. Leaving your community and home is daunting and bears the question: How will one adapt? It is a huge transition filled with uncertainty and often fear.

The teams at the Carefor Civic Complex and Mackay Centre are committed to making the transition to retirement living as smooth as possible. Our mandate is not about taking a senior away from their community, but more about ensuring they remain connected by staying in the area, close to family and friends, while helping them become a part of the retirement home community. A community that welcomes individuals from various backgrounds, where fellow residents are considered family and friends and there is a sense of home and belonging.

Living in a retirement home can help seniors access the very services they need to stay independent, healthy, and socially active. While services can differ within the retirement care sector, offering an affordable assistive living based on individual needs it what is important to seniors. Sometimes, it is things many take for granted: three nutritious home-cooked meals and snacks, access to laundry and housekeeping, taking part in recreation activities, or living in a safe, secure, accessible building.

For others with more health challenges, retirement living needs to be a place where there are no worries about maintenance and upkeep, there is assistance with accessing health services, the environment is senior friendly with the appropriate available equipment, a nurse or PSW is available for medication administration, to help with personal care, or to monitor worsening health conditions.

Carefor can provide all of this while considering the individual’s right to choose, make decisions, and to be an active partner in their care. 

3. Make the appropriate preparations to set your loved one up for success

They say home is where the heart is, and oftentimes the things that make us feel at home are memorable possessions. In a state of transition, decluttering becomes a time-consuming task and a source of stress. That said, picking out the essentials to recreate a familiar environment will make a world of difference as your loved one enters a new chapter in their life.

Keep in mind that it takes time to settle in a new home, so it’s also important to schedule family visits or chats to ensure a seamless transition.

In any case, Carefor staff are there to support you and your loved one at each step of the way.

4. Moving in

 Change is unsettling, especially as we age, but it doesn’t mean we can’t continue to enjoy life, make new friends, and be part of a caring and vibrant community.

 Carefor Civic Complex and Carefor Mackay Centre offers a wealth of resources and activities to ensure everyone feels safe and welcome. 

5. Take a tour

While you can research everything a retirement center has to offer, the best way to get a sense of the atmosphere is by making an appointment to tour the building.

Get in contact with us or visit our website to learn how to book a tour:

Steve Fortin, Program Manager

613-732-9993 ext. 3222

sfortin@carefor.ca 

For general inquiries

613-732-3949

infopembroke@carefor.ca 

(During the ongoing COVID pandemic, we’re videotaping a virtual tour of each building to better serve our community, so stay tuned!)

Dealing with the nuances of aging should not mean having to settle. Seniors have a right to high-quality care and housing. They need to find the right place to live so they get the amount of help they need to live exactly the way they want to. A place that focuses on the four pillars of community, healthy nutrition, safety, and happiness for that is what Everyone Deserves.