A year and a half after losing her husband, June still wakes up each day feeling as though the ground beneath her has disappeared.

Her husband wasn’t just her partner. He was her best friend, her social circle, her routine and, in many ways, her identity. In the months following his death, friends called regularly. Neighbours checked in. Offers of support were everywhere.

But as time passed, those calls became less frequent.

Now June finds herself grieving not only the loss of her husband, but also the growing sense of isolation that comes when the rest of the world seems to move on.

“It’s like a second layer of loss,” says Shannon Ball, Grief Counsellor at Carefor Hospice Cornwall. “People often feel that everyone else has continued with their lives while they’re still trying to figure out how to live with what happened.”

For family members and friends, supporting someone like June can be challenging. Most of us naturally want to help. We are problem-solvers. When someone is suffering, we look for solutions.

Get a dog.

Join a club.

Volunteer.

Take a trip.

Try something new.

But grief is not a problem to be solved.

“It can be very hard to witness someone else’s suffering,” says Ball. “People want to help, and because they care, they often try to fix it. But what grieving people usually need most is to be heard.”

That can become especially difficult when grief stretches into months or years. Adult children may feel they’ve lost not only a parent, but also the surviving parent who becomes consumed by grief. Friends may begin to experience what psychologists sometimes call empathy burnout. They care deeply, but after hearing the same pain expressed over and over again, they become exhausted.

Many find themselves thinking something they would never say out loud: Why can’t they move forward?

Ball says that question misses an important reality of grief.

“I think there’s always a feeling that the world moves on a lot quicker than what the grieving person is able to,” she explains. “That societal pressure can be very difficult.”

For someone grieving the loss of a spouse, moving forward can feel frightening. Letting go of the intensity of grief may feel like letting go of the person who died.

“It’s common for people to feel stuck,” Ball says. “Their thoughts can become very repetitive. They’re talking to the same people, having the same conversations and trying to navigate grief in the same way.”

The answer, she says, is not to stop talking about grief. In many cases, it’s the opposite.

“Grief needs to be shared,” says Ball. “That’s an important part of the healing process.”

What surprises many people is that family and close friends aren’t always the ones best equipped to provide that support.

Sometimes the most helpful conversations happen with people who have experienced a similar loss. That’s why grief support groups can be so powerful. They provide a space where people don’t have to worry about burdening others or hearing that they should be “over it” by now.

“Everybody is experiencing that feeling that people around them don’t want to hear it anymore,” says Ball. “In a support group, everyone is there for that exact purpose.”

For those supporting a grieving loved one, Ball recommends shifting away from advice and toward curiosity. Ask questions. Listen. Resist the urge to immediately offer solutions.

At the same time, gently and consistently encourage the person toward additional supports such as grief groups, counselling or community programs.

If they decline at first, don’t assume they’re not ready forever.

In fact, Ball says research and experience show that many people wait years before seeking formal grief support. On average, it can take as long as five years before someone reaches out for help. That reality has led Carefor Hospice Cornwall to offer support groups specifically designed for people whose loss occurred more than two years ago.

The lesson for families is an important one.

You do not have to solve someone’s grief.

You do not have to find the perfect words.

Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can do is simply stay present, listen without judgment and gently remind them that support exists when they are ready.

Because while grief may never completely disappear, no one should have to carry it alone.